Chrismas Eve Friends

(This posting is to show how all my closest friends leave me during chrismas eve. Not to find a person to blame.)

Today I had my most lonely Christmas Eve of my life. All thanks to my so called friends. Am I over demanding on my friends? I might have. Sorry to be such a pain the ass. I am not like this originally, and I don't want to become like this either. I don't respect ppl who can't hide their feelings. This is the second time I use that words. One of my "friends" might recognise it. By becoming who i don't respect, I started to lose respect of myself. What my friends did to me made me feel like I have no importance of being their friends.

Just a while ago, I just give a faint idea of I'm not following them out to my friend Mr.Y . And must be him who has been spreading the news until none is calling me to go out. They just leave without me.My room-mate just say u dowan eat ah? then he went out. I thought he going dinner, then I realize he is going for Christmas Eve.

(What he said is a fact, what I think is my personal thought. Pls. )

Then being alone, I was chatting online with Nic Nic, Bing and Noel. Then later I learned that Noel is going to church for chrismas eve. After asking, I thought I will not be lonely after all, besides will be going to a church in town. I was happy because I was not lonely in christmas eve, second I will be going to the house of God after so many years and thirdly the church is an old church which I wanted to visit since my childhood.

But all my hopes and planning are short lived. After I bath and change into outing clothes and was about to leave, when I was closing my room lights, my phone flashed; a massage was received. The first massage revealed that the venue is changed from the church to St.Francis. Then the second massage broke my hope, it says that they are going there by bike. So I was left out....again in the same day. I just want to see young ppl enjoying themselves, convincing me that this world is not as gloomy as I see it. I just don't wanna be alone.

But as far as my life went, NONE of my friend is worthy of getting into my mindset as a real friend. God has already deprived me of my other part of my soul, love of my family and still take away my friends? What do I still have to stay alive? my own accomplishment? my dreams? all vanished, see my results. Dont tell me I did not try hard enough. God knows what I have done and sacrificed. Why I am so left out? do I have to ask every now and then if they got any activities and beg to join every time there is one?

Never mind la. I feel like a grumpy old hag now. Go read novel. After my roommate and friends come back they want to laugh me then laugh la. My life has been always like this. I am used to it. Hope none of you out there feel as lonely as me in this Christmas Eve. None deserves it. Merry Christmas to u all. May God bless you all with happiness, wealth and health. Merry Christmas.

Boring plus Love

As u all who knows me, I am a boring person. Even if u doesn't think so, I do. Today Kawoh's "girl-friend" says my blog is boring. Yay~ 1st negative comment for my blog. Sometimes I feel I want to make the blog less formal, but its hard. Me is me after all. Arhhhh...

LOVE, what a wonderful word, the whole world changes once its said. My 1st love is in the kindergarten. Not much remembering how I felt for that girl now, but I know who I am. I won't simply pour feeling to another person. So I know I once loved that girl. Although not vividly remember how she looks like, but at least I can still remember her hair style, still remember I held her hands before and still remember how I miss her when she went to another school for standard one. At that time, of course I don't know what sex is, so my feeling for her is just love.

The second love that come to my life, I can say it's my 1st puppy love. The love is so deep that the world ceased to exist. At that time, I fell in love for my niece from Australia. She stay at my home when she come to Malaysia for a visit. After seeing her for some time, I fell in love for her. I was only in primary school at that time, not yet standard 6. When I'm in school I will always think of her. I will want to go back home early to catch a glimpse of her look and to hear the sound of her voice. She is the only person I ever wanted, more precious than my life. I am more than willing to give up my life in order to make her happy. One day I told myself, if she cant live, I will die with her too. When she wants to go back to Australia, my heart is broken, I stole my father's money and went to buy some fake glass jade jewelry from night market for her. And during the last day she is here, I quarrel with my father for the first time. My father sends me to the school but I refuse to get down the car because I want to go home so that I can see her a bit longer, just a bit. So I cried and cried.... then my father said, "what will your niece say when she know you skipped class? she will think you as a lazy person". It feels like a mallet fell on my head, I wouldn't think of that before. So I went to school still crying. I could care less about the people laughing at me crying that time because I was too broken.
Since then, I never feel love ever again. ( I never felt love from my family in the first place)

Then when I reach secondary school, I have a little crush, little little crush for the girl who sat behind me. Her name is Pang Shek Mei. After not very long, was considering the girl who sat beside her as well. :) But my crush for Pang becomes more serious by a bit. Although I cannot say I fell in love for her, but what I can say is, she captures my attention. I still remember during my friend's birthday party, when she arrived she waved her hair and dunno why my body and mind become frozen, mesmerized. After a few second, I realized that I was frozen and quickly check weather anyone was looking...:p Later I got tell some of my friends about my little crush for that girl, but that sends her boyfriend come looking for me. Her boy friend is the most handsome guy in the school that time, looks a bit like Aaron Kwok^^. Of course I denied my stand to avoid any complications, and I forgot my feelings for her later.

My next wave of romance in life comes when I was around form 4. The girl who sat beside Pang that I considered last time, fell in love with me @_@ , really I'm not joking. She asked me to go to the same tuition class as her and asked me to get a driving license to fetch her up to tuition. I did bring her to tuition after I get licinse :p . She wants me to become her boyfriend and declares that I love her. But for the truth, I do not love her. But I do not tell her my feelings, mainly because of 2 reasons, first I don't want to hurt her feelings and second, who does not like being loved? Without my confession, she keeps on pursuing me for about 2 years until i went to MMU. Now, I felt sorry for what I've done. We stopped contacting each other after my alpha year and recently she got her boyfriend from UM. I felt happy for her that she at last found someone truly was meant for her. Her name is Loh Mei Ying.

So, until now, I am still single, waiting for my venus to come rescue me from my loneliness and give color to my hellish life.

The picture above is venus :)

PC FAIR 2005

Today I suddenly recalled that one of my friends (Noel) told me to make my blog more personal, which writes my personal view and life where I am considering now whether to or not ruin my initial style of blog that I wanted to create? Well, since this blog does not give any importance to anyone and I am still skeptical that someone will still read my blog after the first time….. :( That’s why I broken my own principle and posted this “rubbish” if u want to call it.
Eh? Suddenly I forgot what I want to write! @_@.....

Ok then, write about my trip last Sunday to the PC Fair in KL Convention Centre with IT Society. My first reason to go there is to visit the newly built Convention Centre. We depart from MMU at 9am and reach at the entrance of Suria KLCC at about 11.30am. From there we walked to the Convention Centre through the KLCC underground car park.

There, I realized the architecture of the convention centre is actually nothing much special (to nowadays standard). It used a lot of glass and has a special wavy ceiling above the hallway. There is my first time to climb a glass panel staircase, when I look down, Eee!!…… a streak of cold air went up my spines because I can peek through the vertical glass pane and sees below. That makes me feel uneasy and questions the safety of the stairs ^^.

The fair have about 150 vendors that occupy two floors. As soon as I entered the first hall, I’m greeted by the sight of a few beautiful ladies dressed sexily in black, advertising Sony product and giving out brochure for Sony. After exiting the first hall, it is one way street to the second hall downstairs and until the exit. I only bought a HP cartridge in the fair because I am broke lately. T.T

The whole duration of my visit there is about 7 hours, so at first I was a little worried that I got too much time to spent but it turns out to be just nice, 2 trips around the fair and a trip around each floor on the shopping complex and Kinokunia plus lunch time is all that I need fill all the time nicely.

When the time is almost up for the gathering, I was at the entrance of the KLCC. Knowing the gathering place is at the Convention Centre lobby, I went all the way through KLCC and PC Fair to get there, but to my horror, I did not see a single group member, so I phoned the contact person and he tell me that they are already waiting at the bus stop. =_=” So, from there I have to walk all the way back to KLCC then to the bus stop. When I reach there I was already 17mins late. As soon I board the bus, there was a huge clap and cheering and I heard one of them saying “yay~ can go at last!” =_= I was a little bit pai seh and quickly find myself a sit, which later I realize it might be the seat of the trip leader. But he was kind enough to find another sit somewhere else (0=0). We reach MMU at about 8.30pm.

At home, my room-mate keeps giving the idea that KLCC and the KL Convention Centre is the same building. After some time explaining, I find no heeds of enlightening him. So, here I enclosed a picture of the Convention Centre if he can differentiate it from the original KLCC building and also for those who don’t know how the Convention Centre looks like :)

Go Go Samsung~

I have been following the development of OLED (Organic-LED) display since the idea first comes out few years back. When I read about a roll on computer monitor prototype, it makes my eyes dropped, literally of course:p

Recently in May this year, the world leading company in screen making technology, Samsung have made a 40inch display out of the OLED. The technology pioneered allows the screen to be made with thickness of less than 3cm. @_@. The prototype screen has brightness of 600 nit and contrast of 5000:1 and support high resolution of 1200 x 800(WXGA).

OLED display is basically made of single layer of LED, so it is light, cheap, has wide viewing angle, has high contrast, high brightness, high definition, fast response time, no need for color filter, no back light, less heat, less noise despite low power consumption. Sounds perfect huh? :) That is why OLED amazes me so much. Last time I heard that Epson is venturing in OLED also, they use their printing technology to print the OLED organic pixels! omg, the screen is printed on....1st time hear o_O"

The cheap I mentioned earlier is of course subject to time la :p and I will be looking forward for the screen to reach Malaysian market. Although I won't be buying one, but I want to witness the latest power of innovation. Besides that, Samsung is also manufacturing the traditional electron emission television (I guess) but with a new technology, as a result, it only occupies half of the thickness^^ not to mention the lighter weight.

The technology is getting better each day, just hope that it reaches here earlier so we won't get left out in the current of development.